Dad's
Corner - February 1999
The First Priority
Have
you ever wondered how Samson could turn out so poorly when he had such
seemingly great parents? How could this be? We see a father who desires
to raise a child who is pleasing to God and yet something goes wrong.
When grown, this child will be a slave to immorality which will lead to
his being a slave grinding grain for the Philistines. Maybe there are
a few morsels of wisdom we fathers can glean from this section of Scripture?
When
the angel appeared to Manoah’s wife (Samson’s mother) he gave
her instructions on how she was to live and how Samson was to be set apart
as a Nazirite. (A Nazirite was someone who had such a great love for the
Lord that he/she wanted to show their devotion to God in a special way.)
Then when the father was told about the angel’s message, Manoah prayed
and asked God to send the angel back and "teach us how to bring up
the boy who is to be born (Judges 13:8)."
In
verse 9, we read that God hears Manoah’s prayer and sends the angel
back. When Manoah speaks to the angel in verse 12, he asks, "what
is to be the rule for the boy’s life and work?" What training
should he receive and what will be his vocation. Good question, but the
angel totally ignores it. Amazing! God sends the angel back as a result
of Manoah’s prayer, and then the angel doesn’t answer his prayer.
Or does he?
What
a disappointment; here he wants to know about the boy, and God (via the
angel) is telling Manoah about he and his wife’s responsibility.
We have an example of that in the third chapter of John when Nicodemis
makes an opening comment to Jesus, Jesus totally ignores the comments
and speaks to him about what He wanted Nicodemis to hear. The angel begins
and ends by saying Manoah’s wife must do everything that she has
been instructed to do. The overwhelming emphasis of the angel’s message
to the parents is – obedience. Note, not the child’s obedience
but the parents. Manoah was to see that his wife obeyed the word from
God.
As
fathers, just what is our highest priority? Our children’s education,
socialization, future vocation or our responsibilities. I believe God’s
Word teaches that a father’s primary responsibility is to love the
Lord more than anything or anyone else. "‘Love the Lord your
God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’
This is the first and greatest commandment (Mat 22:37-38)."
That
means we are to be sure that we are in fellowship with Him and living
for Him. Our example of being sold-out to Christ is far more important
than us giving our children hours of instruction on how to live the Christian
life. Loving our Lord and walking in obedience to His word is our primary
responsibility. I believe that is why the Lord instructed Manoah to be
sure his wife did what the angel had told her to. Manoah was to be the
leader of the home.
So
why did Samson fail in achieving God’s best for his life? Certainly,
Samson’s choices had a lot to do with it, but I wonder if it could
have been avoided. There are even hints in Scripture that the parents
might have had outward conformity, but I wonder about their relationship
with the Lord and Samson. Why do I say that?
In
chapter fourteen Samson was interested in a Philistine woman as his wife
and he told his parents to get her for his wife. His father protested,
but then proceeded to do what Samson wanted even though Moses had told
them not to intermarry. "Do not intermarry with them. Do not give
your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons, for
they will turn your sons away from following me to serve other gods, and
the Lord's anger will burn against you and will quickly destroy you (Deut.
7:3-4)." Here the father was more concerned about the son not being
angry with him than he was concerned about whether the Lord would be angry.
He should have said, "Son, I will die before I willingly do what
is wrong."
Don’t
be distracted by verse 14:4 where it says the Lord was using this as an
occasion to confront the Philistines. God will even use our sin for His
purposes. He chose to use Samson’s problem with lust and lack of
obedience to his parents to fulfill his plan. That does not mean that
there wasn’t a better way if Samson had not had these problems.
Look
at Samson’s response to his father. But Samson said to his father,
"Get her for me. She's the right one for me." We see that Samson
did not love and respect his parents or he would have said, "Dad,
you are right, God would not be pleased if I was to marry her."
Dads,
we need to be first of all concerned about our relationship with the Lord
and pleasing Him. That begins in our heart and is visible to those around
us. Not mere outward conformity, but a walk that comes from a deep love
of our Lord and not wanting to displease Him. When our relationship is
right with Him, we will be able to win and retain the hearts of our children.
If we have our children’s hearts, then they will receive the concerns
we share, and they will be grieved when their path is straying from our
example. In verses 14:6&9 we are told Samson did something he shouldn’t
have as a Nazirite, and chose not to tell his parents about it. Our children
must feel the freedom AND need to share with us their failures and wrong
desires. How else can we be used by God in their lives? Samson’s
father neglected the most important and lost his son. Dads, may we not
fail in a similar way.
Steve
Maxwell
