|
Free Spirit??
What is a 'free spirit'?
Some moms have said scheduling isn't for them because they are a 'free
spirit' and enjoy the daily randomness of life without a schedule. So,
the big question becomes:
Can
Scheduling Benefit a "Free Spirit?" (without squashing it)
This question was recently posed to Teri
and others on the MOMYS digest. Following is the question
that was posted and the five responses (view response #1,
#2, #3,
#4, #5).
The Question
Subject: schedules
CONFESSION TIME
I have been extremely
hesitant to get on the scheduling band wagon, not because I don't
want order in my home, or that I don't want to get dinner on the
table every night, but I'm AFRAID!
I am what some would term a "free spirit".
I bet that surprises you all. LOL [internet lingo for "Laugh
Out Loud"] I'm afraid if I go to a schedule in my house, a house
that is run on the Carpe Diem method, that all fun would be lost.
I'm the kind of person who FREQUENTLY shouts, "Let's go CRAZY!
Everyone in the van!"
Is it possible to schedule just a couple of hours a
day, leaving the rest for CRAZY times?
We desire a home that is clean, neat, uncluttered,
and healthy. But, I'm afraid, that even though the Lord says that
everything is to be done decently and in order, He forgot about ME!
After all, He created me this way, and I don't believe He created
this as a character flaw. Perhaps I am a tad, I said, "tad,"
undisciplined, and we don't always have a clean floor, Okay rarely,
and never is the upstairs clean AND the downstairs clean at the same
time, but, we clean something everyday, and everyday we embrace life, and
learn fascinating things about God's world, we love to explore, expand, and
exercise our minds, and I'm afraid to lose that.
Any thoughts from you would be appreciated.
Terri C.
Return
to top.
Response #1
Date: Fri, 29 Jan
1999 08:49:35 -0500
Subject: Flex-schedule
Terri C.,
I was one of the test MOMYS for Teri Maxwell's book.
I really recommend this book (insert usual disclaimer) because it really
makes one think about the goals of scheduling. Teri's personal take on
scheduling is that changing activities frequently keeps everyone motivated
to do more. I find this to be true. I, however, love the opportunity,
each day, for us to immerse ourselves in a project, or even to suspend
the schedule for several hours to allow each person to pursue something
spontaneous. Since using Teri's method of scheduling, I find that we are
much more able to accomplish the MUST DO, and so we are also much more
free to explore the WANT TO DO.
Hope this helps,
Sally
Return
to top.
Response #2
Date: Fri, 29 Jan 1999 09:42:04 -0600
Subject: Free Spirit Scheduling
Dear Terri C. and other "free spirits,"
I expect I am a natural
one to respond to your questions, but I hope some from our test
group will, too, because many of them could easily relate to you!
I see a schedule as my slave, not my slave driver.
It assists me to my goals for myself and for my family. It eases
my life, but it does not inhibit me. As a matter of fact a schedule
can insure fun, crazy times that otherwise would be gobbled up by
the mundane routine needs of daily life. Often the children
of our test families were as enthusiastic about the schedule as
Mom was. They knew they had time set aside in the schedule for them
to spend with Mom for talking, play, reading, or family fun.
A schedule can be as rigid or as open as one chooses.
There are examples of this in the Appendix of our book where there
are 30 schedules. Using a schedule allows a family to get through
with the "daily grind" quickly and efficiently so they
can move on to the areas of life that are exciting and engaging.
Our test families found that they could accomplish more in one morning
using their schedule than they did in a whole day otherwise. That leaves
from noon to bedtime for all those other "crazy" parts of life!
A schedule relieves such a burden from a mother's shoulders
because her "do the next thing," as Elisabeth Elliot would
say, is written down. No more decisions on who does what, when.
Every one knows exactly what they are to be doing, including the
little ones. Even their days are more productive because there is
direction to them.
I think the word "fearful" of failing in
making and using a schedule would be common among those I have been
working with, but we didn't have one single mom fail! They all saw
great benefits from their schedules and were very happy with them.
There have been various levels of difficulty in developing the self-disciplines
to use their schedules but no one has said they were going to ditch
their schedule and go back to the "old way."
I asked my "free spirit" friend about scheduling
last March when she read the first chapter of the book. She refers
to herself as a "fly by the seat of my pants" sort of
person. I wondered if maybe "no schedule kind of lifestyle"
would work just fine for that type of person. "No way!" she
exclaimed. "When I come up for air, I am so discouraged by
the things that have been left undone. If God is a God or order,
that applies to me just as much as to anyone else, and I have to
trust Him to work in me in the area of self-discipline. A schedule
doesn't have to stifle my creativity. It would just channel it at
the right times!"
So, Terri C., I don't think you would lose any of what
you love about your lifestyle but rather would shed what you don't
like about it, if you decided to get on the "schedule bandwagon."
One thing about a schedule, though, particularly if it is a new
way of living for you, you have to be motivated and believe it holds
potential benefits for you. A negative mindset will doom a schedule
to failure before it is started.
I really don't want to sound like a sales person for our book. I am simply
sold on what a schedule can do for a homeschooling family and want
to pass that on to others. That is exactly why we wrote the book.
We see such potential for the work of the kingdom of Jesus Christ
as homeschooling moms are successful in what they are doing, maximizing
their time and feeling like the "joyful mothers of children"
that they are, we have to share what the Lord has taught us!
Trusting in Jesus,
Teri Maxwell, wife of Steven for 24 years and mother of Nathan (22),
Christopher (19), Sarah (17), Joseph (9), John (8), Anna (6), Jesse (4),
and Mary (2)
Return to top.
Response #3
[the following was inserted right after Teri's
message by MOMYs digest moderator]
On the subject of Teri's book. The test group
were all MOMYS...all 24 of the families! So in a small sense, I
feel like I know the people in the book. I received a copy of the
book from those lovely ladies & Teri. Well, I know you're all
waiting with bated breath...we started our schedule yesterday. Here's
what I wrote to Teri. I thought some of you would be interested in
it as well...
Subject: Day #1 has been incredible!
Dear Teri,
I have been reading your book. It sounded *so* great.
But I found myself thinking that it wouldn't work for us. After all,
our children are 9, 8, 7, 5, 4, 2, and almost 1. That's a lot of
little people. I took heart that Debbie and J'Aimee are in similar
situations.
Anyway, I'll spare you the details. We decided to try
to stay on schedule until noon. That was pretty ambitious considering
the circumstances. Well, it's been our *best* day ever. We even slept
in, which is not so rare, but it did potentially start the day on
a bad foot. I went over each person's schedule during breakfast.
The children were so excited. After lunch (and the youngest 3 were
down for naps) we talked about how we liked it. They loved it, and
I did, too.
Two things the book does not emphasize that were wonderful
were these...
The best thing about our AM was that there was very
little boredom. Usually I would be plowing on ahead with *my* agenda,
dragging the children & DH behind me. I tend to be very task-oriented.
Nothing stands in the way of completing the task. This way I felt
like we truly were a team. Everyone helped out and everyone shared
the rewards.
In retrospect, the children aren't wanting to get in
trouble or bicker with each other. They just had lots of spare time
on their hands. This AM has been great.
Secondly, this is a tip I'd like to pass onto those
with all young children. I kept wondering how I would pay attention
to the time and still accomplish anything. What I did was set a digital
timer for 25 minutes. When the timer went off, I would give the 5-minute
warning, inform them of the next thing on the schedule, and we'd
go from there. That gave them time to mentally change gears as well
as clean up from the last thing.
I won't bore you with any more details. Just suffice
it to say that I was skeptical and a little afraid of failure. It
went *so* much better than I expected that I just want to cry with
relief. It gives us hope & direction.
A million thanks...Joan"
So, you can see, I'm all for it. And Teri
is right...we got more done before noon that we ever have in several
days. So we could have time allowed for fun pursuits once the "work"
was out of the way.
~Joan, ***
Return
to top.
Response #4
Date: Fri, 29 Jan 1999 13:20:01 -0500
Subject: the free spirit
Hello MOMYS,
I thought I would take a moment to share a bit concerning Terri
C.'s post on being a free spirit. I, too, have always considered myself much
the same. But, as the number of children grew it was becoming increasingly
difficult to find any time to be spontaneous, not to mention how
much time it would take to find shoes and jackets for everyone. School was
painful, it was hard to sit and do the work for us all, too many interruptions
and we could never find a pencil.
Well, I joined MOMYS and volunteered to be part of
the Maxwell's test group. I felt it was an answer to prayer, I had been
spending much time in prayer for direction. None of our family goals
were being met. The idea of a schedule scared me. What about my creativity
and what if I want to just "go"(do something).
Well, to make a long story shorter, I followed through
with the schedule and found that I love it. It has helped me to begin
to organize my home (I know where our socks, shoes and coats are)
and it has freed up more time for creativity. My schedule also has
our family doing the "most important work" in the morning,
so if the urge to go hiking hits, we can do it after lunch. This
summer I hope to free up more morning time, I love to do outdoor things at
the crack of dawn. When we return from an activity we jump right back into
our schedule.
At Christmas we took a couple of weeks off and boy,
did I regret it. That two weeks stretched into four and it felt as
though everything was falling apart. Next time one week will suffice.
We have managed to get back on schedule and what a relief to see
things coming back together. This "free spirit" will never
be without a schedule again. Hey, look it is after lunch! Kids grab
your shoes and coats, lets skip science book work and go see if we
can find signs of life in the woods! Bye for now ladies!
Your sister in Christ,
~Sheri
Return
to top.
Response #5
Date: Fri, 29 Jan 1999 16:24:44 +0000
Subject: Schedules....for Terri C.
Oh, how you sound like
I did. Maybe I was worse though! :-) Like you, we cleaned something
every day, we did some school, we had sooo much fun! However, the
house was a wreck, I panicked when we had unexpected visitors, meals were
slapped together, often from whatever eclectic edible items I could
find in the fridge. We were very spontaneous! I loved it.
But sometimes we ran out of clean clothes. Sometimes
laundry would mildew in the hampers before I got around to washing
it. At the very least, we had to poke through the mountain of clean
clothes on the living room couch to find matching pairs of socks.
Who had time to fold clothes? Not me! The dishes sat in the sink until
I was pretty sure they were creeping out at night and frolicking
on the counter---especially day-before-yesterday's sippy cups half-full
of spoiled milk. Eewwwww!! ( I'm just being honest here, girls! <g>)
I loved my life. I just didn't have time to live all
of it! :-)
Steve (dh) had been prompting me for some time to get
into a routine. I balked because I was reluctant to lose the spontaneity,
hated to think of missing seeing the boys' eyes sparkle when I announced
an unexpected outing. Finally, I relinquished though, and as I was
trying to figure out what hopeless task to dive into first <g>,
I read the MOMYS digest and saw Teri Maxwell's plea for a test family
for her book.
To make a long story short, we've been on a schedule
for a few months now. We don't do a "perfect" job of keeping
to it all the time, but the schedule is really so freeing. I have
"family time" planned right into my schedule to take care
of those spontaneous things we like to do. Chore time is factored
in too, so I'm sure to keep up with the basics. (To illustrate that
point, our dishwasher bit the dust a couple of months ago, we decided
to forego a new one right now, and I'm actually doing all our dishes
by hand and SURVIVING!) I have time built in for special projects
(like cleaning out closets, scrapbooking, etc.) that seemed to never
get done before.
The house, though it definitely still looks "lived
in", at last stays clean and neat enough that I'm not embarrassed when
someone drops in. I'm able to train the children better and more
calmly, get less exasperated myself due to being disorganized, we
get more schoolwork done........you name it, it's better since we
have a schedule.
Now, there are still times when we just chuck the whole thing
(Teri's not reading this, is she??:-D) and run like crazy for a day!
But when we come back home, I don't get that "let down"
feeling when I walk in the door. It usually looks "peaceful"
and mostly organized in here now! And what's more, I think we actually
*want* to stay home a lot more now, because it's so nice here. I
don't feel like I need to get away from it!
I would really encourage you, Terri C., to get your hands on a copy
of Teri Maxwell's book. I think, if you follow the plan, you'll be
so surprised at how freeing it is! I am, quite frankly, shocked at
how well I'm liking to be more orderly!
Rejoicing in Him,
Ellen
Return
to top.
|
