For almost a full year our whole family of ten has excitedly looked forward to January 26th, 2002 - the first wedding of one of our children. The day finally arrived, and it was wonderful in every way (for a little information about their courtship and engagement, click here)! Here are some of the comments we heard after the wedding.

"It was so holy."
"We loved the ceremony."
"I can't believe it was really their first kiss."
"The bride and groom dismissing us by rows was great."
"The weather is unbelievable!"
"Once they got that first kiss in, they don't seem to want to stop! I think they like it!"
"The music was perfect."
"The bridal party was beautiful - all brothers and sisters - and the colors stunning."
"The balloon release is something I want to write down in my daughter's wedding notebook."

Rehearsal Night
Filled with excitement, we all, except Christopher who had gone over early to set up sound and video, left the house at 4:15 for the 5:00 p.m. rehearsal. Everyone arrived on time, and the rehearsal began promptly. It went great even though it ended up being much shorter than anticipated because the organist needed to leave after an hour, and the chapel had to be cleared for another function - details that hadn't been communicated to the bride and groom.

We headed to the rehearsal dinner early, but since the room was available, we could stand and visit until it was time to eat. Steve and I had gone to great efforts to make the serving of each individual meal easy. We had given the restaurant a diagram of where everyone would sit, had name cards at each seat, a typed list of each order including menu item, drink, name and a number on the order to correspond with seating

We knew we were in trouble, though, when the waiters came out with glasses in their hands calling out, "Sprite, Sprite, Coke, Coke." Getting the meals to each place took four waiters, the party room manager, Steve with the order list, and the maid of honor who speaks Spanish!

After eating Steve had a time of blessing Nathan and Melanie in lieu of toasts. He shared with us, and encouraged us, with a verse from John 14 where Jesus tells His disciples if they loved Him they would rejoice for Him because He was going to the Father. Steve drew the analogy for us of Nathan and Melanie going to be with each other and our focus on their joy rather than any sad thoughts.

Wedding Day
Wedding morning dawned earlier than we anticipated. Nathan couldn't sleep so he got up, had his quiet time, and then changed his oil while Steve helped him with a tune up. The night before Steve had called Nathan's granddad and asked if he would rent a furniture dolly in the morning so they could move his fridge from the garage into the kitchen. Nathan's cousins were in town for the wedding and could help with the needed manpower.

We enjoyed our last family meal, with just the ten of us - a breakfast treat of warm Pillsbury cinnamon rolls. Sarah had a friend coming to help with her hair while she had the responsibility of putting up Anna and Mary's hair. I cleaned up the house to be ready for guests for dinner after the reception.

Nathan, Steve and the two cousins moved his fridge upstairs. Then Nathan went home to shower and get dressed. Then Steve and I prayed with him, and we all left at 11:15 in three vehicles for the 2:00 wedding.

The girls went to the Conference Center where the reception was being held because the Chapel had no dressing facilities. However, the Conference Center had a large dressing room connected to the ladies' restrooms. There were huge mirrors and lots of room. The girls planned to be all ready at home except for getting dressed at the Conference Center.

Nathan and Christopher got into the Chapel early. They didn't think they could get in until noon, but it was a little after 11:30 when they arrived, and it was open. They worked on setting up sound. They also met the photographer, whom Christopher had picked out and who turned out to be a homeschool dad.

The guys had their photos taken, and then Nathan went to a small room off of the baptistry so he wouldn't see the girls come in for their photos. Walkie-talkies were used for coordinating between the girls' and guys' groups and the ceremony coordinator.

The girls were to be transported from the Conference Center to the Chapel in a school bus that a family in our church has as their personal vehicle. This was so the girls wouldn't have to sit down and wrinkle their dresses.

There was lots of happy chatter in the girls' dressing room. Then suddenly the walkie-talkie told us the guys were starting their photos so the girls should be in the final stage of getting ready. It became quite a rush to complete the girls dressing, load up all their things, and get them out to the bus. Mrs. Maher and Jennifer (Melanie's older sister who was the maid of honor) were helping Melanie. I felt very useful, too, as I picked up clothes, shoes, brushes, hairspray, double-sided tape, you-name-it, and placed them in bags for the return trip home. I became the, "Mrs. Maxwell could you please pin my scarf? Mrs. Maxwell I haven't gotten my dress sprayed with static guard yet," mom.

I took the sisters who were ready with me on the first bus trip to the Chapel. Melanie, her mom, and other sisters followed in the second trip. That worked out well because as I walked into the Chapel they wanted me to go to the front for a photo with Nathan.

he girls all made it to the Chapel, amidst much laughter and happiness, and had their photos taken. Then they found a room in the back of the Chapel to wait in - about forty-five minutes. That meant Nathan was free to come out and mingle with his guests as they arrived. He is a people person and this was the best party of his life! He didn't want to miss a minute of it.

Seating started at 1:30. Four groomsmen (brothers of Nathan and Melanie) were also the ushers. To keep from a bottleneck in the foyer, ushers encouraged some to be seated and then sign the guest book at reception.

Exactly at 2:00 general seating ended, and the grandparents were seated. Next Nathan seated each of the mothers. I liked that part! The candles were lit by two of the little sisters who sat on pews after they were done, but then joined the bridal party for the ceremony itself. They gave their candle lighters to the mothers to light the unity candles.

The Pastor did a welcome about the gravity of marriage and no divorce. Then Nathan and the groomsmen entered - all of them were brothers of the bride or groom. Nathan went up and stood by the pastor in the center front. The groomsmen stood in front of the first pew facing back toward the back of the Chapel. My mom pulled out her Kleenex, and Christopher, standing right in front of her, asked if she had an extra one that he could take. I am sure he wanted to be prepared in case Melanie needed a Kleenex.

The bridesmaids entered - again, all of them sisters of the bride or groom. They were lovely, sweet, and very feminine in long, navy formals with scarves draped across the front of their dresses and tied over their shoulders in back. The bridesmaids met the groomsmen at the front, walked a couple of steps together and then split to opposite sides.

The flower girl and ring bearer walked up next, as cute as could be and doing just exactly what they should do. Mary confided to me later that she had become a little bit scared as she walked down the aisle. They went to the best man and maid of honor for them to untie the fake rings from the pillow. They had some trouble untying the rings, and the Bride's processional started as they were trying to get the rings off.

As Christopher, the best man, untied his ring, he instantly realized he didn't have the real ring. While all eyes were focused on Melanie coming down the isle, he left his spot in the line up, and came to our seats for his bag that had the ring in it. Until the ring came out of his bag, Steve and I couldn't imagine what he was doing!

Jennifer and Simon Maher sang "Only God Could Love You More." The Pastor gave a brief sermon explaining the reasons for marriage. Dr. Maher gave his daughter away. Part of that was transferring of his authority and protection of Melanie to Nathan. The Pastor had Nathan and Melanie each say "I will" to a pledge of intent.

Next, the Pastor, then Nathan and Melanie followed by the bridal party, walked further up into the sanctuary. There they exchanged vows and rings.

As vocalist, Tim Cahill sang, "We Believe" (a beautiful song filled with New Testament doctrinal beliefs) to a pipe organ accompaniment - Nathan and Melanie lit a unity candle, took the Lord's Supper together, and signed the marriage document.

Melanie was very emotional through out the whole ceremony. After Nathan served her the Lord's Supper, we could see from behind that a Kleenex was being given to her and she wiped her eyes before turning to sign the marriage document.

After the signing, Nathan and Melanie came back to stand in front of the Pastor. Jennifer gave Melanie her bouquet and Melanie dropped a Kleenex but Pastor reached to retrieve it. The Pastor raised his hand above Nathan and Melanie's head speaking God's blessing upon them.

Finally it was time for the long awaited first kiss. Nathan tenderly put one hand on each of Melanie's cheeks and kissed her. The Pastor presented to us "Mr. and Mrs. Nathan Maxwell" while we all burst out in applause.

After the bridal party's recessional, Nathan and Melanie came back into the Chapel and dismissed their guests row by row. They started with the parents, presenting each mother with a long stemmed ivory rose.

When the guests had been greeted by the bride and groom and were all on their way to the reception, we had a few minutes of photos of Nathan and Melanie, them with each of their families, and with both families.

Nathan carried his bride down the outside stairs to Grandad and his car that was taking them to the reception. They drove around just a bit while Melanie ate some yogurt, although my family is convinced there might have been a few more kisses as well.

At the reception the ceremony coordinator gathered the bridal party and family near the cake table so we could hear the blessings and comments in addition to seeing the cake cutting.

Dr. Maher announced the couple's arrival at the reception. They came up to the front, and Nathan spoke for a few minutes. He shared words of gratitude to the Lord, his guests, and parents. Blessings were spoken rather than toasts. Christopher talked and blessed, and then Jennifer did the same.

Nathan and Melanie cut their piece of cake, and fed it to each other. Then they crossed arms for their drink of punch. They had actually practiced this at Sarah's birthday party the weekend before the wedding.

In addition to cake and punch, there were nuts and homemade mints. The Conference Center had a punch fountain that was used but necessitated a punch with no pulp in it.

Nathan and Melanie had plenty of time to visit with their guests at the reception. Just before it was time to leave, the photographer suggested some outside photos. They came back inside for Melanie to throw her bouquet and Nathan his armband. Our Joseph (age 12) caught the armband.

Immediately after this the family had instructions to meet Nathan and Melanie in the mezzanine for goodbyes while the others were sent outside to wait for sendoff. Each person had been given a balloon to release when Nathan and Melanie came out.

The family goodbyes were happy but emotional. I had managed not to cry all day long - until I hugged Nathan and Melanie goodbye. Melanie whispered to me, "Now may I call you Mom?" (Nathan and Melanie had chosen to call the other's parents by formal names until after the wedding).

We all trooped outside into a January 26th day in Kansas, where we needed no jackets at 5:00 in the evening, with our balloons in hand. With all eyes watching, Nathan carried his bride to his waiting car.

As we watched several hundred white and burgundy balloons rise in unison, there seemed to be a symbolic beauty going up with them. Nathan and Melanie drove while the balloons drifted away with them. All the emotions of leaving were focused on the balloons.

Honeymoon
Nathan and Melanie spent their first night in the Kansas City area but not in their home. Then they had plane tickets to Colorado where they would spend a week and a half in a cabin in the mountains.

Wedding Evening at Our House
Very quickly after the bride and groom departed, Steve gathered his family to head for home. I went to the corner of the reception room where I had stashed my "things" only to discover, to my dismay, the container with the cake Nathan had wanted to take with him, sitting there. I had forgotten to make arrangements to put it in the car.

Our family went home to prepare for about fifteen extended family members who would be coming to join us for dinner. We had a wonderful time and many of them even joined us for family devotions before they headed back to their hotel.

Our Thoughts and Emotions
Steve and I had agreed not to "think" until Saturday night after the wedding. We knew if we "thought" we would be likely to cry even though our hearts were filled with joy. We ended up being too tired to "think" even on Saturday night. However, we did discover that it is best not to be left alone or one does cry. We took our guests across the street to see Nathan's house - Sarah cried when she stayed back here alone with the little ones who were getting ready for bed.

Joseph and John cried when they went to bed Saturday night. By Sunday morning four of our younger children had croupy coughs so I stayed home from church with them. Off and on during the morning, I cried. The mixed emotions are so amazing - absolute joy over the future Nathan and Melanie have together but mixed with the realization that a son and brother, who has been loved and an integral part of the family for twenty-five years, is leaving home.

"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). We have been working toward emotionally releasing Nathan this whole year. Now the true leaving is complete, and we will learn how to be parents of a married child. We desire to love and support, but also to let them have their independence without interference or criticism.

All our praise and joy goes to our Lord Jesus Christ. He gave both Nathan and Melanie a vision for not dating but waiting on Him to direct them to the person who He would have to be their spouse. He led them through unknown steps of courtship and engagement. He kept them from giving their first kiss to each other before the wedding altar. He provided all the details of a beautiful wedding, one that would bring Him praise and glory, down to perfect weather! Hallelujah! Jesus is LORD!